It’s good to remember that in crises, natural crises, human beings forget for a while their ignorances, their biases, their prejudices. For a little while, neighbors help neighbors and strangers help strangers.
– Maya Angelou
Every stranger is an opportunity to learn something about the world. A stranger is a clean slate, a new adventure, and a chance for reinvention. If you’re lucky, a kind stranger can change the outcome of your day. Or your life. If you pay close attention, you may even learn something about yourself.
The global pandemic has taken many things from many people. One common loss across the globe, I think, is the possibility for spontaneous humanity. All of the places you may encounter a stranger – out shopping, at a check-out counter, in a coffee shop – have been purposefully altered so that you don’t bump into anyone. With a six foot buffer on all sides, it’s actually almost impossible.
So what does this mean for our capacity to learn? To explore? To reinvent? What do we look like without the accidental shoulder bump, the pardon-me-no-you-go-ahead, the world of possibility in the empty seat next to a stranger on the bus?
I don’t know.
But I do know that we are worse for it. What can we do but take care, hope, and remember that we are staying safe to protect not only our friends and family, but the strangers all around us.
With that, I will leave you with this encounter I had with a stranger this week.
I’m Surprised
I was really early. I knew I was early – I almost always am – but today I was almost awkwardly early. In my eight minute drive to the gym – a drive that can take anywhere from 8 to 30 minutes – I encountered no red lights, no traffic, no slow drivers, and no canal traffic. When one leaves early to avoid being stopped by a literal ship (that’s where that extra twenty minutes comes from) one is really early.
Not wanting to sit in my car for an “acceptable” period of time, I decided to grab my stuff, walk down the hall to the Pilates studio, and set up for the class early. The few minutes of quiet before class would probably be a good thing.
When I walked through the first set of glass doors and into the studio, I found the lights off. The sun was about to set and the room was quiet. I hung up my coat, took off my shoes and socks, and stepped around the corner with my mat.
I didn’t see her right away. It wasn’t until I was about to roll out my own mat that I noticed hers facing the opposite direction, at an angle. I looked away as I carefully and quietly rolled out my mat. Some people lay out their mats early. Some people use the room before class to stretch or warm up. Some enjoy peace and quiet before the music starts. It took me until my mat touched the floor to finally realize what was going on. She was praying.
I froze. She obviously knew I was there. What would be more rude? If I saw her and immediately fled the room, or if I stayed and intruded on her private moment. I decided to compromise, leaving my mat and water bottle, and quietly walking back across the studio, around the corner, and out of sight into the coat area. I sat down on a bench and thought about what I’d just witnessed.
I didn’t know her name but I’d seen this woman before. By her head covering I’d assumed she was Muslim but I hadn’t thought about it much beyond that. As I waited on the bench the picture started making more sense to me. It was Autumn so the sun was beginning to set earlier and earlier each day. At this very moment, to be precise. The unusual placement of the woman’s mat in the room likely meant that she was facing Mecca, and quietly observing the Maghrib prayer.
Sitting on the bench I felt a painful mixture of shame and embarrassment. How could I not have noticed that this woman was praying? Oh, I don’t know Laura. Maybe next time you walk into a room, take a quick scan. I had walked halfway across the room with all of my kit, intruded on her peaceful moment with God, and I was now sitting right around the corner.
Then I heard her voice.
“You can come in”
I walked back into the studio with my hands twisted together in front of me. She was smiling as she rolled up her mat.
“I’m so-” I started.
“Thank you,” she said brightly. “I am really running out of daylight these days!”
I laughed.
“I’m really sorry, I didn’t notice you there – what you were doing – right away, but I figured I should leave and come back.”
“You know,” she said, “I’m really surprised you knew. Not many people understand. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “It just made sense to me.”
“I’m Zara, by the way.”
“Laura. Nice to meet you Zara. I hope you have a lovely evening!”
“Thank you”, she said, “you too.”
I walked over to my mat and sat down. I could hear people starting to gather around the corner.
Every time you meet a stranger you learn something about the world. And yourself.
Sources
45 Things You Can Do to Get Happy No Matter Where You Are
Courtney Johnston | @CourtRJ | ( http://www.rulebreakersclub.com/) on Lifehack.org
How to Be Happy 