Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
– Mahatma Gandhi
When I sat down to write this story I immediately drew a blank. This, the first full week of my vacation, was the time I had set for myself to “spend an afternoon doing something unimportant”. Instead of thoughtfully choosing a time to relax for a few hours in the middle of a busy week, I inadvertently spent seven entire days (and then another seven) doing a whole lot of “unimportant”. I can’t help but feel like I may have cheated a little bit there.
Hoping to pull some inspiration from the internet, I did a search for (and I’m not kidding): “does doing something unimportant make me happy?” Admittedly not my best Boolean search. The first article that came up was titled “You’re Unimportant; But It Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Be Happy” so I decided to quit while I was ahead…
The next thing I did was go through my camera roll and see if something I did this week was exciting or poignant enough to write about. After all, I take at least one hundred pictures each time I go up North to the family camp, so something was bound to click. Despite the photos being 30 per cent sunset, ten per cent assorted family members, and 60 per cent the dog in the lake, I did actually manage to eek out some inspiration. What seemed like a pretty unimportant few days was actually the most essential thing I have done for myself in a long time.
Vacation
This was the first proper week of our vacation up in Northern Ontario. While first time camp visitors are treated to at least one day-long sightseeing tour, we are seasoned guests so our only job was to relax, read, cook a few meals, and drink all of the beer we brought so we wouldn’t have to lug it home again. That all sounds fairly “unimportant”, right?
Most of the time we were there we did exactly those things. We also added some new activities to the itinerary. One morning I put on my running shoes and did the 5km run to the highway and back. Later that afternoon we drove down to another camp on the lake and had a lovely physically distanced visit with my stepmother’s aunt, a 92 year old woman with a fascinating life story and an affinity for my husband’s lockdown beard. Some days we followed Lou Lou the dog and took pictures of her as she explored her new surroundings. More than once we were surprised by a dog from the neighbouring camp crashing through the trees in pursuit of a chipmunk. A few days into the week, my sister flew in from across the country so we started following her around as she explored her new surroundings (kidding, but it was her first time up at camp).
With the whole family there we had steaming hot Finnish saunas before jumping in the lake, we had drinks on the dock, and we watched the sunset every night. One evening my Father made pizzas in his new portable pizza oven and afterwards, he and I sat on the back deck watching chipmunks scavenge for leftovers. One night we all had too much to drink and my sister and I had a long, hilarious, and heartbreaking conversation before stumbling to the outhouse in the wee hours.
Quirk of Fate
I’m not sure what I was planning to do this week. We weren’t even supposed to go up North this year. If the pandemic hadn’t happened, I would have used my vacation months ago, my husband would be leading a group of students on a study tour in Europe, and none of these things would have happened. Thinking back on this week, I am struggling with the word “unimportant”. Is it a binary – you can’t have “unimportant” without “important” – or is it on a continuum? Doing something unimportant suggests that there are other things I should have been doing. But what does that even mean? Should I have spent every available moment of good weather out on the lake instead of reading on the dock? Should I have learned how to paddle board or practiced swimming instead of having a drink with my husband or going for a run? Should I have actually followed my sister around everywhere and drawn out every moment with her because we live so far away from each other and I don’t know when we’ll see each other again? (The alternative being to not frighten or nanoy her and to spend normal time with her like a human).
What is unimportant?
This week I relaxed with my husband, my family, an aging dog, and my 90 year old step-grandmother (yes, the tally is now up to two people in their 90s). I read many books, drank many beers, and had many saunas followed by many chilly dips in the lake. I spent my days firmly within the unapologetically unimportant.
I think that important vs. unimportant is a false dichotomy. It supposes that you can’t have one without the other, yet I am struggling, even to this very word, to categorize anything I did this week into one camp (pun intended). Reading a book on the dock is one of my favourite things to do at camp. Is it vital? No. Is it important for my sanity? Absolutely.
This week was important for me because I am the type of person who can’t relax unless everyone else is relaxed. This is why the first few days of any family vacation are emotionally draining for me. If I see a frown, perceive an eye roll, or detect the slightest look of disgust, I immediately assume it’s directed at me, internalize it, and let it slowly eat me alive (and yet my husband finds me charming and not at all crazy!). This week I put every ounce of my strength into letting all of that go. I worked hard at not caring what people think. I consciously told myself that whatever anyone’s problem may be, it has nothing to do with me. I said things I never would have said and I had conversations I needed to have. And I finally let go of things I could no longer carry. This week I gave myself permission to simply exist.
Important or unimportant is what you make of it. I have a habit of categorizing myself as the latter. This week I made myself – and my well being – important and I turned the dial down on everything else. This week I was Happy.
How to Be Happy 