Instead of thinking I am losing something when I clear clutter, I dwell on what I might gain.
— Lisa J. Shultz, Lighter Living: Declutter. Organize. Simplify
Cards on the table here, this one almost didn’t get done.
As the week went on, this little “to do” sat in the back of my mind, popping up at least once a day to admonish me for procrastinating and to remind me that it would take literally ten minutes, so just do it already.
The problem was (as it usually is with cleaning) my heart wasn’t in it. Does the clutter in my house cause me stress? Yes. Does it bother me that we have several unopened boxes in our basement full of ???? from our respective childhoods? Yes. Do I always feel better when I spend an hour actually cleaning something? YES! Yet for some reason, being aware of this very predictable set of outcomes provides nothing in the way of motivation.
You might think that being more-or-less confined to my home during a global pandemic would result in a slightly tidier living space. I thought so at first, but no such luck. It is perplexing to me that the phenomenon that causes me the most day-to-day stress, the issue that has resulted in more fights with my husband than anything else, and the thing over which I have the most control is the one thing I can’t seem to get off my ass and actually do.
Expectations vs. Reality
I started out this week with big hopes. Something along the lines of: I know I said I’d only get rid of three things, but look, it’s turned into 100 and my problems have all been solved! Yeah, that didn’t happen. So far this season I haven’t convinced myself to do a full “Spring Clean”, despite having the extra time, but I thought that when it officially became this week’s “happy task”, I may actually get in the spirit. How did I spend my time instead? Doing exactly what I wanted, which was pretty much anything else, and not feeling the tiniest bit guilty about it.
Internet wisdom (and some actual research) suggests that people are happier with a tidier home and fewer possessions. None of the things we own actually bring or retain joy – it’s the emotional significance we attach to the objects in our lives that makes us happy. I know that I’m more at peace when the space around me is organized. I know that I feel a great sense of unburdening when I fill boxes or bags with items for donation. I know when it’s time to go through old boxes, when it’s time to deep-clean the kitchen, and when it’s time to tidy my desk. I also know that I give myself a very hard time when I put these things off. What actually feels worse, a messy house or days of negative self-talk?
At 8:00pm on the last day of the week, I completed my happy task. I thought about the three places in our house that are the most disorganized. I looked at the office, the kitchen, and the back room in our basement and I found one thing in each room that we never use.
My Old Hand Blender
I got this little guy as a Christmas gift almost ten years ago. It lived with me in three cities, loyally blending my soups and smoothies until one day, in the middle of preparing for a dinner party, the motor died. I tried everything short of ritualistic sacrifice to get it going again, but nothing worked. This happened about two years ago, so why do I still have it in my house? It was a gift from my father (emotional significance) and it seemed strange to me to get rid of the whole kit when only one small bit wasn’t working (waste not/want not?). Since the tragic death of my hand blender I have acquired a conventional blender and another hand blender, yet my old friend still haunts the back of my kitchen cupboard. It’s hard to say goodbye (seriously, what could I possibly do with all the little attachments?) but it is most definitely time. The kitchen, my favourite room in the house, will be a little tidier and I’ll be a little calmer.
The “Cool Kid” Binder
When I was in elementary school the coolest binder around was this bad boy: Five Star, fully zipped. In addition to holding all of your pens, pencils, and miscellaneous scraps of paper, it also served as a canvas for some sweet art. My Five Star binder (now long gone) was covered in swirls of pen and White Out. This particular one belonged to my husband who was very clearly not a doodler. In fact, it looks almost as good as new. We now exist in a world where we (usually) don’t have to lug everything we need around with us wherever we go so this three-ringed juggernaut hasn’t seen much action over the last decade and a half. This binder valiantly served its purpose and we both agree that some pre-teen somewhere is searching for it as we speak.
The Free Suitcase
For all of high school and much of university, the most popular hairstyle for girls was pin straight. The objective, it seemed, was to remove any trace of natural volume, completely frying your hair in the process. I used my high school straightener so much that it died some time during university and, as the style hadn’t changed much, I went in search of a new one. Present-day Laura would probably look at some higher-end models, knowing that they would last longer. Poor-university-student Laura was looking for the biggest bang for her buck. I was at the mall one day and noticed a sign that said something along the lines of “Buy a [brand name] hair straightener, get a FREE rolling suitcase!” That is how this odd little thing came into my life. The straightener was decent (I still have it and now use it to curl my hair) but the bag was the real draw. I used the bag occasionally for some overnight trips, but the flaws in design quickly overshadowed the “free”. It is about the size of a carry-on with wheels and an extendable handle on one end. So far so good? Except the rigid structure of the handle track and its presence in such a small bag greatly reduces the available volume. Fine, but the wheels are convenient, right? Not quite. Because of its strange shape, when it’s full the bag becomes very top heavy, causing it to dramatically flop to one side while being wheeled. More than once I have had to literally drag the bag through traffic because it had lost equilibrium part way across the street. Not great if speed or efficiency are at all part of your plan. Okay Laura, just carry it by the handles. That would be okay if the bag had any sort of a shoulder strap, which it doesn’t. Instead, it has two very small handles that clip together, forcing you to either carry it at the end of your fully-extended arm, or to shove it just above your elbow allowing the full weight of the metal handle, wheels, and other paraphernalia to bang violently against your leg or hip.
As you can likely tell, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I’m not sure what one should expect from free luggage, but it’s clear that I expected too much. In the years since, I have acquired many useful travel accessories – my favourite is a green duffle that I paid $5 for. On occasion I still use the hair straightener, but the bag just sits in my office, isolated from all other bags, waiting to be used. I’ve decided to finally let it go, to either amaze or disappoint another unwitting human.
Goodbye and Thank You
In her book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo tells her readers that when we part with things, we should say goodbye and thank each object for its place in our life. The three things that I am parting with each served a purpose and deserve my thanks. Thank you to my blender for making my smoothies every day for years; thank you to Tyler’s binder for reminding me what middle-school cool looked like; thank you for the suitcase for teaching me what useful luggage is.
Letting Go of Tidiness
Sometimes I wonder whether I would be happier if my entire house was perfectly clean. The ten minutes I spent selecting my three things were much more fun than I expected, but I definitely didn’t look forward to the task. The role of these specific belongings has changed over time. The blender, binder, and bag started out useful, cool, and gratifying. Now, collectively, they make me feel grateful, they make me reminisce, and they make me laugh a little at myself. The things themselves didn’t make me happy, the purposes they served, the things they helped me create and accomplish, and the experience of saying goodbye made me happy.
There will be three fewer objects in my house that will soon, undoubtedly, be replaced by three more objects of questionable utility. As I slowly work to tidy my life it is the little things, the small steps, and the curious memories that will continue to make me happy.
Sources
45 Things You Can Do to Get Happy No Matter Where You Are
Courtney Johnston | @CourtRJ | ( http://www.rulebreakersclub.com/) on Lifehack.org
48 Little Things You Can Do to Make Yourself Happier Now
Elyse Gorman | @notesonbliss | ( https://elysesantilli.com/ ) on Thought Catalog
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organising by Marie Kondo
How to Be Happy 