Week Eight: Get Some Sleep

There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.

— Homer, The Odyssey

You know what they say about the best laid plans? 

Going into this week I had an inkling that my plan to “get some sleep” would be less than successful. Book-ending this very short work week (3 whole days in the office) were two fantastically unusual weekends: one, a four day holiday, and the other full of house guests. Every “sleep tip” out there suggests pretty much the same thing: no caffeine in the afternoon, no food late at night, and try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. When I woke up at 9:30 am on Monday and looked ahead to the rest of my week, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

I know a lot of people who regularly struggle with sleep and I feel very fortunate that I am not among them. Sure, I have my tricky periods (when my husband has a cold and shakes the entire house with his snoring) but I usually fall asleep and wake up (mostly) without incident. Over the past couple of weeks, however, I have noticed that no matter how much sleep I get, I never feel entirely rested. I yawn consistently throughout the day, I become irritated for no reason, and I lack motivation to do any household chores. I reassured myself that with a long weekend coming up I’d have a chance to “catch up” on my sleep. Even though I know that doesn’t actually work, I kept telling myself that I’d feel better when I woke up on Saturday, late and unassisted by my alarm. Surprise, surprise, I woke up after more than ten hours of sleep feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. My reward for “catching up” was a day-long headache and even more irritability. 

It’s not a stretch to correlate a good night’s sleep with happiness, especially as we all have so many instances of the inverse to compare it to. Whether we’re kept up with the flu, pull an all-nighter in university, are woken up by screaming children, sick pets, street noise, nightmares, or any combination of the above, every adult knows what it’s like to have a terrible sleep. Scientists don’t quite know why we need to go to sleep every night, but they have a pretty good handle on what happens to our bodies and minds when we don’t get enough sleep. From our stress response to physical and emotional health, a lot can be impacted by too little time on the pillow. 

My plan for this week was to stick to a few basic “good sleep” habits:

• Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends
• Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time
• Keep your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet
• Avoid naps
• Get a comfortable bed, mattress, and pillow
• No caffeine in the afternoon
• No liquids (including alcohol) before bed

Some of these are a given. I drink one coffee a day, always in the morning; we typically keep our house cool in the winter, especially at night; I already avoid naps because I’ve never woken up from one without feeling physically ill; and I am already pretty happy with the comfort level in my bed. The other three are the real challenge. With that in mind, I opted to focus on those. 

Good Morning?

Against my better judgment (and countless sleep studies) I always seem to fall into the “I’ll sleep on the weekends” trap as an excuse to stay up late during the week. I am also ashamed to admit that the time my alarm goes off and the time I actually get out of bed are two very different times. A typical weekday morning looks something like this: 

6:00 am → Google Home alarm goes off from across the room. Let it ring for about 15 seconds, groggily yell “okay Google, stop the alarm!” Fall back asleep.
6:05 am →  Cell phone alarm goes off. Snooze. Fall back asleep.
6:15 am → Alarm. Snooze. Fall back asleep.
6:25 am → Alarm. Snooze. Okay, I’m awake. Shut eyes and enjoy the warmth.
6:35 am → Alarm. Snooze. Really, I’m awake, eyes open. Okay Laura, get out of bed.
6:40 am → Husband’s alarm. Shake him awake “turn off your alarm”. Deep breath. Finally get out of bed.

As ridiculous as that is, at least it’s consistent (according to my Fitbit). The weekends, on the other hand, are an entirely different story. Only rarely have I managed to convince myself to wake up before 7am on a Saturday. There are occasions where my brain (or bladder) decides that enough is enough and I’m up at 6:30, but I usually take advantage of my open schedule and, at the very least, crawl back into bed and read my book. After the 10 hour trainwreck that was Saturday, I decided that I would set an alarm for the rest of the week, including the weekend. In response to my husband’s incredulous “you’re not setting the alarm for six are you?” I compromised and decided that 7:30 would be fine. The result? Honestly, a bit of a mixed bag.

Monday
Sleep: ?????
I honestly have no idea when I went to bed and when I woke up. I can usually rely on my Fitbit sleep tracker for a decent estimate, but I left it charging overnight. Today is a province-wide holiday (Family Day) so neither my husband or I had to be at work. We took full advantage of that and stayed up a bit late watching a documentary the night before. If I had to guess, I’d say I woke up at about 9 am. 

• Good Habits:
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (I sort of knew that wasn’t going to happen)
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time (Yes, I read my book!)
  • No liquids (including alcohol) before bed (It’s a holiday, I had a drink, whatever.)

Tuesday
Sleep: 6 hrs 16 minutes (11:34 pm – 06:38 am)
This was truly an extra special bonus day. While my husband returned to work, I had the day off for the University President’s Day holiday. It was the best of both worlds. Because I make us coffee, breakfast, and our lunches every day, I got up at the normal weekday time. After I waved goodbye at the door, I walked back upstairs, got into bed, and put on a podcast. Trying to stick to my goal, I didn’t fall back asleep, but I certainly enjoyed the extra time in bed. The rest of my day rolled out pretty much exactly as I wanted it to. I had a late breakfast, puttered around the house for a bit, went to the gym before lunch, and had an appointment with my physiotherapist all before my husband returned from work. The next day was my “Monday” and I wanted to end my wonderful long weekend the right way, so after dinner I ran myself a bath. I finished a chapter of my book and turned the lights out at 10:30pm.

• Good Habits:
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (Not quite, but it was worth it!)
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time (Lovely bath, read my book)
  • No liquids (including alcohol) before bed (Check!)

Wednesday
Sleep: 7 hrs 3 minutes (22:40 pm – 6:38 am)
If the right amount of sleep is 7 – 8 hours, I just made it today. Getting back to work after four days off was a bit of an adjustment, particularly because the next three days were starting to look pretty busy. From now on, it would be easier to stick to my habits (in theory).

• Good Habits:
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (Yes, finally!)
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time (Yes, book)
  • No liquids (including alcohol) before bed (Check!)

Thursday
Sleep: 6 hrs 37 minutes (10:59 pm – 06:19 am)
As planned, I was all ready for bed with lights out at 10:33 pm (only three minutes past my goal). Well, let’s just say that I got a little… *ahem*… distracted… and ended up actually getting to sleep about half an hour later. Weird thing? I was awake and alert when my alarm went off at 6:00 am. Out of habit, I hit the snooze button once, but when I rolled out of bed at 6:20, I felt rested. I can honestly say this was the best sleep I’d had in weeks! It’s funny how certain activities never seem to appear on “sleep well” lists…

• Good Habits:
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (Nope, but totally worth it) 
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time (It sure started that way…)
  • No liquids (including alcohol) before bed (Check!)

Friday
Sleep: 7 hrs 17 minutes (10:44 pm – 6:55 am)
All in all not bad, although I didn’t get quite as much sleep as I’d hoped because my “relaxing habit” before bed, reading my book and drinking chamomile tea, ended up backfiring. I hit an intense passage and I “just one more chapter”-ed myself past my “bedtime”. I also took an extra trip to the bathroom. So much for the chamomile tea. Needless to say, I abused the snooze button pretty hard today.. 

• Good Habits:
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (I swear, I tried)
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time (I tried, but the book got too interesting)
  • No liquids (including alcohol) before bed (Nope, chamomile tea)

Saturday
Sleep: 8 hrs 37 minutes (11:03 pm – 8:24 am)
So according to my Fitbit, this was my best night’s sleep because I got a little star beside my “sleep score” in the app. I went to bed at roughly the right time, but I did sleep a little later than I meant to. I don’t know what it is about the privilege of sleeping in on the weekends but I can’t seem to talk myself out of it. Maybe I should take the wisdom of Jurassic Park to heart: just because I can, doesn’t mean I should. Today we had friends come over and we spent the day touring wine country. All week leading up to today, I knew that I’d be breaking all of my good habits. We organized an afternoon of eating heavy meals and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, followed by a late night full of excitement and even more drinking.

• Good Habits:
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (Not quite)
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time (Literally the opposite)
  • No liquids (including alcohol) before bed (We. Drank. Everything.)

Sunday
Sleep: 7 hrs 23 minutes (1:08 am – 9:32 am)
I got the right amount of sleep, but the timing was a bit off. We ate and drank with our friends until the wee hours, although I am pleased to say that I was no worse for wear when I woke up. I can tell you with certainty that had I woken up before 8 am, I would have had a brutal hangover. Because of the amount of sleep I got, I was able to be very productive today. The weather was lovely so I went for a run, and later in the day my husband and I went for a very long walk, exploring the neighbourhoods near our house, and had a lovely conversation. That’s pretty hard to execute if you’re hungover (I have tried).

Sleepy and Happy (and all the other dwarfs)

What exactly did I learn from this experience? Honestly, I went into this week knowing that it would be hard to do this experiment perfectly. I have every intention of trying again (maybe I’ll check my calendar first!) but it did give me an opportunity to think about all of the things that can impact my sleep. I’ve been sharing a bed with the same human for the last five years, and that is definitely different than sleeping alone. If your partner gets a bad sleep, you get a bad sleep. This week I made compromises for my own needs (finishing that damn chapter, for one) but I also made compromises for others. After all, I’m the one doing this experiment, not my husband, and not the friends who stayed with us. I suppose I could have cut our Saturday night short and gone to bed at 10:30 on the dot, but other than consistency, what would that really achieve? I would have missed out on a great time because of principle. 

On paper, sleep and happiness go hand in hand, but I had a hard time connecting my task this week to an increase in my own happiness (or Happiness). I didn’t have a perfect week, but I got almost enough sleep every day, and the days where I made exceptions to my “good habits” were either the best sleeps or the best times. When I try this again, maybe I’ll set my alarm for 6:30 am every day and actually get up with it, even on the weekends. I’m not sure if that will make me happy or not, but I’ll try anything. My inconsistent sleep schedule doesn’t make me unhappy; in fact, I’m pretty pleased that my brain and body have been so versatile. I consider myself very lucky. What has struck me most this week, about goals and habits, is that there are times to strictly adhere to a plan, but there are also times to set plans aside for the “greater good” or greater Happiness. 

Sources

15 Simple Things to Do to Be Happier Today
Quincy Seale, Keepinspiring.me
17 Proven Tips to Sleep Better At Night (Healthline.com)
Can Sleep Make Me Happy?
Molly Edmonds on How Stuff Works
Healthy Sleep Tips (National Sleep Foundation)
How to be Happy: 25 Habits to Add To Your Routine
Ann Pietrangelo on Healthline.com